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What do you believe unconditionally about yourself? Do you constantly affirm that you are reliable, fair, sensitive, caring, honest, or always goal - oriented? It’s possible that what speaks through you is the False Self - a fixation shaped by the approval you received for such behavior.

Each of us identifies with traits that helped us survive and adapt in childhood, traits that were praised by those around us. We tend to internalize this image and believe that’s who we truly are. This false identification creates the context in which we live, anchoring us where we currently are.

We often fail to see the future because we’re fixated on the past. We focus on where we’ve become entrenched within the neural pathways of our brain. Numerous studies in neuroscience reveal how the brain operates in an automatic mode, driven by these past fixations.

The hardest part is disentangling ourselves from the False Self and daring to act differently in certain situations. It involves acknowledging that we are not who we wish to be, that we can be different - complex, multifaceted, even unlikeable at times. And we don’t have to please everyone.

Excerpt from a leadership training program by Rasa Baltė Balčiūnienė, founder of the HAI Institute and lecturer.