Educational articles

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Many of us carry a sense of deficient motivation from childhood - unconscious needs, desires, and longings. Some of these needs are entirely natural and necessary: to have close relationships, to feel independent, autonomous, and so on. However, under certain circumstances, these needs can become forms of hunger. One such hunger is the hunger for power, which drives a person to see competitors everywhere. For example, two professionals may struggle to work together if one of them is consumed by a hunger for power, as they will constantly seek to prove their superiority. For such individuals, the outcome is less important than ensuring others recognize their contributions.

What lies behind such behaviour? A fairly common and banal need: the desire to feel superior to others, often in a comparative context. If this need is particularly strong, the person will constantly engage in conflicts to satisfy their need for superiority - even in situations where it is entirely unproductive. Yet, after proving their dominance, they may feel "fed" or satisfied.

Why is emotional hunger unconscious, and how does it work? Psychology uses a term called emotional anesthesia. As children, in their efforts to gain parental attention, individuals develop certain behavioral patterns - whether "good" or "bad." Once they receive attention, they feel a sense of calm. As adults, when they experience similar states of anxiety, they unconsciously revert to those childhood memories and behaviors, repeating them to achieve emotional anesthesia, which temporarily soothes them.

Identifying one’s emotional needs or hunger is not simple. However, once we start noticing rising anxiety and name the emotion we are feeling, we bring it into the level of consciousness. While this may not immediately reduce the anxiety itself, it allows us to think and act differently. Without this self-awareness, life will simply "happen" to us.

The ability to notice, identify, and understand our internal states is an incredibly powerful yet challenging skill to develop. It is difficult for a person to simultaneously live and observe life, as we often perceive events in hindsight. Living in the moment while also observing ourselves from the outside is a sign of significant emotional maturity.

This text is based on material from the radio show “The Future Gene” (Rasa Baltė Balčiūnienė, Paulius Avižinis).