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“If others were better and smarter, I’d be fine.” This perspective implies: “The answer is not within me, but in others.” The individual projects outward, believing others should do something to make them feel good. This reveals an unconscious self - image of “not being capable.”

The only way to understand this pattern is to start asking oneself the hard questions: “Why aren’t things going the way I want them to? What am I doing wrong? What image am I holding in my mind? What stereotype is influencing me?”

Stereotypes strongly shape our thoughts and actions. One common stereotype is “who should motivate whom” (e.g., employer to employee, teacher to student). This idea is so widespread that people don’t even realize its limitations. Motivation, in reality, is internal: it originates within the individual, and it’s each person’s responsibility to find, sustain, and “employ” that motivation. Once the mindset “they have to motivate me, and I just have to wait” takes root, two adults stop functioning as independent, unique, and creative individuals. It is as if motivation depended solely on the vision of a company owner or a university rector.

Why hand over to others a fundamental human quality - to motivate oneself, to create, to act, to do?

Excerpt from the Radio (Žinių radijas) programme "The Future Gene" on hidden motives for behavior (Rasa Baltė Balčiūnienė and Eglė Daunienė).